UFC Eulogy: UFC 127 Penn v Fitch

One of the more disappointing shows of the last few months, UFC 127 featured a hometown hero frustratingly trapped in a struggle against a different style of fighter, a completely uncalled for show of disrespect from Michael Bisping and a disappointing decision in the main event. But there were a few fun moments, especially from a veteran who came in with little chance and put on the best show of the night (I heard from someone who attended the show that this was the feeling in the building as well).

George Sotiropolous' problem was not that he fought horribly, he just simply couldn't take Denis Sever down. Going in to the fight, we knew that Georgie would want the fight on the ground and Sever would want the exact opposite. We heard that Sever's stand up was very good, but we weren't prepared for how good he really was, and neither was the gollywog. There was a kick in the first round by Sever that didn't land but was still insanely impressive to see. But probably more than just how much he was beating Sotiropolous up, and he was, was his takedown defense. Not one point in the fight did it look as though Denis Sever was going to down, even when George had him by one leg, also in the first round. The Australian did come back from being knocked down twice, and took it to a decision, but really he had nothing. Hopefully Sotiropolous works on a few things, because I don't feel that this ruins too much momentum, as he could still be champ. (Me hopes.)

Michael Bisping is a child. I find him very entertaining, but he is not acting like a professional athlete. I wouldn't mind at all, in fact I was loving the Bisping Show until he kneed Jorge Rivera in the head while the American was on the ground. It wasn't a bad fight actually, with the heavy underdog Rivera actually knocking him down midway through the fight. Bisping came away with the TKO, but he didn't come away with the respect of many people, especially Dana White, who whispered something to Bisping right before the brit apologized in his post fight interview. One can only imagine what 'Mr White' said, probably something to the effect of, "you realise your not the world champ and you don't sell that many PPV's, if I fired you tomorrow, I don't lose shit."

BJ Penn versus John Fitch was not horrible but was not a good fight. The fight was mostly even until Fitch, in the final round, started his light ground and pound that looks like it annoys more than it kills, and looked like he was going to win. We ended up with a draw. It's baffling really, because Fitch won. BJ Penn was not getting up any time soon, Fitch was in control at the end and won the fight. But it was a draw. Penn seemed disillusioned by the decision, and in a pretty awesome show of respect, also said he felt he lost the fight.

The most fun fight was Chris Lytle v Roger Ebersole. Ebersole was an underdog, an old man with not much chance. He came in with so much charisma, ability and experience, and he won the crowd and the match. I'll call him Lil Randy for now because he reminds me so much of Couture.

It was a poor show, but we move on, as next month is the big Light Heavyweight fight!

- Lee

Why SMS is Beautiful

The following is a SMS exchange between the Dogman and the Leeman on eve of New Years Eve.

Dogman: Let me know if I need to bring sumfin.
Leeman: Fuck man, I talked to Brooke last night. Alright fuck, here we go: sleeping bag, swimmers. Get it?? Fuff...
D: Lol fuff. Is that an acronym? Ask your mum if she's go any dommys, if not I'll bring some.
L: Fuff is like saying 'for fucks sake' but being so annoyed you don't get past one syllable. Bring a g-string.
D: That's like a ruzzel man, you used ot be funny. Anyway, I'll g-bang it up. Don't forget to ask donna 'bout dommys for my donga.
L: Don't bring any beers. The Kanch has it covered.
D: Nice. Can you ask your mum if she has a mask for my meat?
L: Umbrella for the rain coming from your purple vein.
D: Lol. A jar for the tar that flows thick from my dick.
L: A dam to block the jam from your cock.
D: A bowl to catch the jizz before the snatch.
L: A cover so huge still wont hold my splooge.
D: A plastic pocket to protect from the socket.
L: Hey man in all seriousness though, I'll ask my mum if she has a loo for your goo.
D: Or a gas chamber for my dying jews. Does that make sense? I'm blogging this whole conversation btw.
L: I already did. In my blog: ihaveablogandidonttellanybodyaboutitcozmynameisedad.fagspot.cunt
D: A beaker for my bunsen burner, to keep the solution off my sneaker and in the spunsen spurner (vagina, your mums vagina).
L: Dude I don't wanna kid around anymore.
L: Something to hold back the cum from the spawn shack of your mum.
D: Spawn shack, lol. A sheath for my sword to prevent a baby from being stored.
L: Doing the deed without spreadin' yo seed.
L: Fucking her silly without producing a Billy.
L: Stemming from the old adage 'fucking her brains out': Getting rid of her knowledge without paying for college.
D: You're on fire with your prose, I'll need to think up more to do with my hose.
D: Her jocks around her socks, my cock in her box.
D: I can't do this anymore.
L: I've shot my wad as well. Greatest blog evarr!

And so it was...

The Death Of Pop Music

Pop music (the concept, not the style) runs on the momentum of the relationship between radio stations, MTV and the record companies. As a song is released, the big companies (EMI, Sony etc) give these songs to the pop stations (Nova, 2Day FM, MTV etc). The radio or TV station plays the song repeatedly, giving the impression that it is popular, regardless of whether it is or not. Almost all of this music is in the same style (currently this is RnB and female fake rock (Katy Perry, Miley Cyrus (to name but a few))). This ideology goes back to the days when radio was king, and besides jazz clubs, the only music you could hear was through the airwaves. In the 1960's though, bands started to play gigs and rock clubs began surfacing, sometimes even allowing a band to survive without radio play (Led Zeppelin didn't release singles in the UK). When punk arrived in the mid 70's, live shows were the whole deal for these bands and they proved that a whole subculture of music could exist without the need for radio. Still, at this time, the most popular music was out there due to radio exposure. But when MTV reared its ugly head in the 80's, kids wanting to find good music would only have to see what was on heavy rotation to find out what to like. It was, dare I say, too easy to discover new music.


As of the early 00's, the music on pop radio was of little merit and was now supported by American Idol. This hellish show made millions of people believe that this was normal music, furthering the illusion that besides pop music, there really isn't much out there. This is not to say that great music can't survive, but it is always going to be harder on good artists when there are a large portion of people in the world that don't know better. These people, the viewers of Idol and the listeners of Nova, I believe would be listening to better music if this shit wasn't so easily available. These people (most people) obviously enjoy listening to music, or else they wouldn't be tuning into these stations and getting these records in the first place, so now imagine a world where they had to seek it out. I honestly believe they would seek it out, because music is an amazing thing that most of us want in our lives, hence the existence of a huge industry making money off feeding these poor misguided souls such easily accessible songs.


Now to the point of this article... I think the record companies are in their last years. More and more people are downloading music for free. Yes, alot of the music being downloaded is the crap that's on the radio, but what about the day when almost nobody buys music anymore, leaving the industry to die. If the companies don't exist, and therefore are not creating this bad music in such large quantities, will bad music just become another genre to seek out on the internet?


I have faith in people, and I truly do think most people just don't know the difference between what they like and don't like and will just take what is given. So if left to their own devices, with no corporation to tell them what to like, will the misguided masses seek out the type of music that is currently being pumped through ad nauseam??


If all music becomes equal in exposure, and (unless a friend burns you something) the only way to hear music is by seeking it out, will the next generation really want to go to the sites playing music akin to Akon, or will they follow their heart and listen with their own ears?


Perhaps it will mean the death of pop music after all.


 - Lee (while not listening to T-Pain)

Thank You

As I was falling asleep the other night, I was struck with a sudden feeling of gratitude for the simple things in my life. Perhaps I take these things for granted sometimes. Please add to this list if you want to, as I'm sure there are more wonderful and simple things to be thankful for. So without further ado;

Thank you to whoever in ancient Rome invented the sliding door.

Thank you to that dude in Egypt thousands of years ago that decided he wanted a nicer sleep and invented the pillow.

Thank you to Robert Adler for inventing the TV remote control. I love that thing heaps.

Thanks to the person that thought to make a little baby drawer and put it next to their bed. I love my bed-side table.

Thank you William Thomson, for making what we now know as Christmas/fairy lights. They are coming in handy at the moment bro.





PLZ ADD MOAR

Buzz Words

All of us BOTMer's (the wonderful small group that we are) have passions and things that we love that are unique to us. And I have found over the years that through the things I love, have come buzz words. These are words or names that when said by a stranger on a bus, at the gym etc, we turn our heads and react. These words aren't exclusively our passions though, they could be a word that our grandpa used to utter or an old teacher used to always say that has stuck with us.

There are times when something you love is not a buzz word. For example, I am a pretty big Howard Stern fan but when I think about it, if someone were to say either 'Howard' or 'Stern', I wouldn't react because these words/names are very common. The exception to this rule is when I was at the height of my Ben Folds Five listening, and if someone said the words 'underground' or 'army', two fairly common words, my ears would perk up. Alright, I know what you guys are thinking, 'we get the point man, lets just hear your buzzy words or whatever', but I feel bad for not blogging in a while so I'm trying to make up for it. I guess you're right though, and as Helly tells me, it's quality not quantity. But I think I was making valid points, so I don't know why you were being a dick about it.

So in my experience, I have found my buzz words are:

Wrestling - being a fan and historian of something that nobody likes (or admits to liking) means that this has become a big buzz word over the years for me.

Karate - I have been involved with karate my whole life and it is kind of rare to hear someone talk about it. 

Vienna - one of the words in the name of a band I love. Rarely uttered by humans.

Eden - my close friend and a cool name and word. So rare you can see the blood seeping from it.

- Lee (while listening to Off Course)



What are your buzz words?

H & D

- Lee

Perception/Really Not A Very Good Blog, It Probably Means More To Me Even Though It's Still Not That Amazing, All's I'm Saying Is That It's Just Another Example Of Perception Being Played Around With.

I was reading "The Winter of Frankie Machine' and in the first 30 pages, a character by named Abe is mentioned a few times, without an explanation of who he is and what he looks like. So I had my version of Abe, but when it was explained what he looked like, it was different. I thought it was another cool example of perception in that in one fell swoop, my image of Abe was changed. And that includes my memory of him.

 - Lee

Onions, Fools and Entourage

Onions

I had a thai noodle dish from the place at my work today, and they must have had a different chef working because the bloody onion wasn't cooked enough or cut fine enough. A few good bits were in there but most of them were pretty crap. So I had a really bitter (is that what it is?) taste in my mouth throughout the meal which ruined the whole thing. But it was in this discomfort that I observed a pretty cool feeling. The thought of onions in any capacity was now turning me off. And I fucking love onions. So I imagined having onions cooked on a barbeque, or in a thai dish properly bloody served. And I couldn't imagine ever wanting onions again. In my turned off state, I not only took out all the shitty pieces, I even took out all the good ones. I'd been burned by onions, and I was temporarily, psychologically damaged. One bad experience turned me off the whole deal. Okay, I'm gonna be straight with you people. I realised right now how much I don't like this article. I don't blame you if you're bored. Hopefully it doesn't turn you off my blogs for good.

A Fool

Today at work a guy was telling me about how something went a little haywire on his shift. 

He said, "The print came off the platter, I was like WTF, but I sorted it out in time."

He actually said 'WTF'. And he wasn't being ironic. What a stupid fool.

And...

Imagine coming across a building painted in the brightest, most awesome colours and patterns. You assume that inside there must be something awesome going on, something great and fun. You open the front door and walk inside only to find the whole building is empty. That's what it's like for me to watch Entourage now. The premise is simple. How could you possibly have a boring show with that premise. THAT premise.

Season 5 ended with Vince being told by Martin Scorsese that he will play the Great Gatsby in Marty's new movie. It ended with that scene. Awesome stuff. Season 6 is gonna be sweet, we'll see the gang on set getting up to cool movie star shit, perhaps Vince clicks really well with Scorsese and a costar gets jealous followed by hilarity and fun ensuing. Or Eric gets too close to the project, trying to make changes to the film and it causes a rift in their relationship, the same rift that has been brought up in the season prior (see what I did there, that's called building character arcs). Or maybe Turtle will get a coke problem and die (the dream lives on). So obviously, this being the shittiest, most fucking underwhelming show of all time, season 6 starts with Vince at the premiere of The Great Gatsby. Because apparently what we imagine happened on set is better than what they could have given us. The writers are essentially admitting that they wouldn't be able to entertain us. Well it's hard to imagine what went on during the filming when they don't even discuss it at all during season 6. So the Scorsese angle had no payoff. It didn't even have a build up. It was of no consequence whatsoever. Actually it was worse than that, because they got us excited for nothing, which is worse than just, well, not doing the Great Gatsby/Scorsese angle at all, because at least then we wouldn't have even imagined him on set in the first place, only to be disappointed when we don't see it. Do the writers realise that the show is fake?? They're allowed to do ANYTHING, so why are we treated to him hanging at home doing nothing, waiting in between gigs. And if their answer is that it's just like that for actors sometimes, well fuck that. He's a made up FAKE character, he can do whatever they want him to do. And it's insulting to give an audience (a bloody loyal one to still be watching), a cliffhanger with no payoff, just to ensure that they watch the first episode of the next season. Basically, the writers are saying to us, "wait wait, please don't go..... how about this!!" And then they probably said to each other, "oh shit, Scorsese says he can't do the story arc. His agent told me he's got an actual career and is busy with real projects or some shit and that he was just doing us a favor for an episode because he was in town or some shit. Maybe we should have thought of this before. Oh well, who cares. Our audience surely won't. They'll keep watching forever whatever we do."

Entourage should be the best show on TV. It could be a deep, darkly comic satire on how the movie industry affects people, both the highs and lows. Well, Season 6 ended with Vince going off to film a fucking Ferrari biopic. Bullfuck. If the next episode is him at the premiere then I'm done. 

 - Lee

Lee: The Original Prankster

The year would have been around 2003, when I was in year 11 at high school. Lee and I were walking home as we did most days, and out of nowhere Lee challenged me to challenge him to do something stupid. There was no gain in it for him if the self-proposed challenge was not carried through; it was for my pure enjoyment only.

I can't remember exactly the foreplay to the dare (and I'm sure I'm telling this story leaving out some details), however the scheme that Lee proposed to me was so absurd it was beautiful. The plan that Lee put forward was this: Every time that I coughed in a suggestive manner Lee had to stop what he was doing and proceed to strut around in small circles clucking like a chicken.

We both had a good laugh at the very thought of being amongst our friends and Lee placing himself at the centre of sure-fire ridicule (his plight of high school?). So the next day, we were standing at lunch next to the main oval (not in Koala Park but the wooden seats next to the portables), and Lee looked at me almost as if to say - "DO IT, DO IT", and so I coughed. Sure enough, Lee turned into a chicken for a good 8-10 seconds and it was hilarious.

But this was not enough; we had to go further...

Cut to later that day or the next day, and we were in drama class. It was the period after recess/lunch, and Miss Fielen had the class lying on our backs performing a breathing exercise to loosen our muscles and clear our minds (what an awesome teacher...). My close proximity to Lee was perfect in setting up one of my funniest moments in high school. The room was silent, not a mouse stirred, the moment was perfect - "*cough*, *cough*" - "brrrrreek brek brek brek brek brrrrrreekk", Lee bellowed as he pranced around the dazed and confused class. "Lee!!, outside now!!", screamed the teach.

One of the funniest things about that moment was that no-one knew what the hell was going on, especially not the bewildered teacher. Lee is the original prankster, no-one else I know would dare themselves to do something so embarrassing, and then when I performed the pre-agreed trigger to actually go through with it - to display such self-deprecation is inspiring; and a great quality to have.

- Russell

Easy Rider

 Things I love about Dennis Hopper's film, Easy Rider.

 - Captain America, Billy and George smoking pot around the fire and talking about aliens. Basically watching George open up and see both sides.

- George on the bike. Too funny.

 - The music.

 - The acid trip.

 - The idea that we can always move forward and go somewhere new.

 - The restaurant scene.

 - Trying to work out the line, "We blew it."

 - Learning that society doesn't rule us, but it's something to overcome.

 - How cool Billy the Kid and Captain America look, and the fact that if they want to call themselves that, then they can.

 - Lee

Happy Birthday Luke!!!

Jay

El Birthday-Boy Loco! There’s something you need to know:
1987; the year you were born: 1+9+8-7 = 11
May; the month you were born: allocating each letter in the alphabet to its corresponding number, M=13, A=1 & Y=25, so Y-A-M = 11
29; the day of the month you were born: 2+9 = 11
L.A.B; your initials, again, with their corresponding numbers, L=12, A=1 & B=2, so L+A-B = 11
I’m just saying… Think about it. You are eleven. That’s got to help your theory… whatever it is.
All jokes aside, I love you like a brother.
No, seriously, you’re a loving, funny, generous and selfless brother and you’ve taught me much throughout my 21 years, not in the traditional teacher/student way, but through admiration. You give me confidence I didn’t know I had, and I know a lot of people could say the same thing. We get along famously and I treasure our closeness and unique sense of humour. I mean, who else could understand the hilarity of “Got my bean in a coffee cu~rp”, or even, “Yeah, go on then…”. Our memories speak for themselves and I look forward to making countless more with you.
May the road rise up to meet you.
Happy Birthday!

Oh, and according to Mark Hoppus of Blink 182, nobody likes you when you’re 23… so that’s unfortunate for you.

Helly

In Castle Hill, lives a guy named Luke Bovino

He is of Italian descent, as we all know

Enthusiastic and animated, he is always the life of the party

He also has another side which is sensitive, soulful and arty


He enjoys rap battles, and can always hit us with some cool rhymes

And if he had one wish, it would be to travel through time

He has a feisty Italian temperament, but becomes as gentle as a lamb

After he watches one of his favourite actors, Jean Claude Van Damn


It’s no secret that he’s a bit of a Cassanova

A pretty girl just has to smile at him and he’s completely bowled over

He seems to fall in love with every girl he meets

But one day he’ll decide that it’s time to play for keeps


Acting is his chosen career

Which requires him to put himself out there and show no fear

A unique, creative point of view and I suspect

That this will serve him well when he decides to direct


With this last line, I swear I’m not trying to make you puke

But we really do love you, our dear friend Luke




Lee


No epic blog about Luke could continue without at least one story of him being a dick. I remember being floored by Rocky the first time I saw it. Arriving at school the next day, I knew I had to find Luke as he was a huge fan of the movie and of course the whole series. He was the only other person I knew that had seen it, plus he called himself The Italian Stallion as an ode to one of his favourite movies. But when I finally found Luke, ready to discuss all the great moments of my new favourite movie ever, he stopped me after only a few words.

"I saw that way before you did."

"But Bov" I replied, "Nobody has seen this movie but us, you finally have someone to talk about it with!"

With a look of ego-fueled dickheadedness all he said was, "I'm a bigger fan than you."

And he walked away. To top it off, I learned only a little while later that he had never seen the film. Let me repeat that. Never. Seen. The. Film. Dick!



The person that Luke has revealed to me in recent times has turned out to be a great friend and someone that I have shared thousands of laughs with. NOT a dick, but with an ego the size of Kansas, he is one of my best friends and I love him like a brother.

The most awesome thing, from my perspective, to happen to Luke as of late is his discovery of the wealth of talent within himself in areas he didn't realize existed. I specifically mean his drawing. If someone were to look at a drawing by Luke, one would assume he has been doing this for a long time, but amazingly, he has only very recently found this side of himself, this unique talent. I say unique not because drawing is unique, but because Luke's personal artwork is. Works of abstract beauty are flowing from his heart to paper, and he's still a little shy about it, which is hard to believe. Two months ago, after watching Van Dam, The Trilogy was sitting at my dining table and Luke started drawing on this flimsy little napkin. After a few minutes, he had drawn a simple, yet amazingly complete piece of abstract art. We kept the napkin for prosperity.

Happy birthday Luke, I may be one of your fifty friends, but you're one of my five, so consider yourself very lucky. I know I do.




Eden

11 Reasons why I love Luke

1. You are an amplifier of life: I think the best way to explain you as a person is someone who amplifies life. There are moments that I experience in everyday life, like a funny joke or a cool story and I’m usually glad to have experienced it. However, if I get to share that moment with you, your enthusiasm and passion makes the moment something greater. You may not be as funny as Lee or Hamish or Burrtank but your laugh is always genuine and insanely infectious, which makes any of their jokes infinitely better.
2. Your confidence: As someone who has struggled with my own confidence at times, it has always been inspiring to have such a confident friend around to lead as an example and challenge me to confront fears.
3. Your Integrity: If someone loved shows like Ghost Whisperer and movies like The Count of Monte Cristo* were their all time favourites, they might be afraid to admit it, but you not only admit it, you are proud of it and defend your love. I love how you are unyielding in knowing what is true to you.
4. The memories: “Remember when we used to…” This is how some of my favourite conversations start. "...sit in English and I said all the answers under my breath, and Dean said all the funny jokes under his breath, and you yelled them all out to the class. You were the smartest, funniest guy out!"
5. The future: I can see us being friends for a long time, and the memories are just going to keep growing. Lucky you always have a camera with you to make sure we capture at least a few of the countless special moments.
6. Your Family: From Tones all the way to Cousin Frank, you have an amazing family which has to be a big reason why you are who you are.
7. Your ‘heaps funny’ jokes: Nothing like having your best friend swear to you that he didn’t take your wallet 50 times until you believe him, and then he reveals that he had it the whole time.
8. Your Birthday Messages: You were born to be an actor, but you can always fall back on being a Hallmark birthday card writer. I love how you come up with them on the spot. They are always special even if you write them in October, cos Facebook told you it was my birthday.
9. HELD, BAJ, SEALD**, Dr Hell: Doesn’t matter what the abbreviation is, it always has an E and an L. Maybe we should be called EL Friendship Loco.
10. Our friendship: Some of the conversations we have are deep and personal and I couldn’t have them with many other people and still feel comfortable having them. There is an obvious chemistry between us, and we understand each other so well.
11. Your Friendships: It says a lot about a person when, while most people have around 5 close friends at best, you have about 20. I’m just glad to be one of them…officially number 3 on Facebook! Sucked in Lee, you’re not even on there.

*It's not a bad movie, just not the best in the world
**I don't think this abbreviation ever officially existed, there was BTNH but that didn't have EL in it

The Legend Of Luke Bovino Part 1 – The Early Years

Luke Bovino, son of an extremely attractive mother and mega-cool father, was a young man working his way towards fame and stardom via acting. Not even he could possibly imagine the amazing deeds he would go on to accomplish in life.

He started life just like any other unassuming individual. He worked part-time at channel 9, hung out full-time with his friend Van Dam and wondered the lands looking for the answers to the questions that plagued his mind such as; do aliens really exist? If a guy came up to me and said he was me from the future, would I believe him?

It was during his high-school years that he began acquiring some of the legendary skills he would utilise later in life. Be it making his friends laugh at his insanely entertaining stories, making humorous observations or stealing jokes/answers, Luke was somewhat of a jack-of-all-trades.

Also during these times he became a member of the powerful organisation HELD. HELD went on to make several amazing films with Luke often starring as the lead. It was his powerful performance in the critically acclaimed Around House Beatings, which led to his first Oscar nomination.

Once he travelled to the great-untamed snowy lands of Canada for the better part of a year where he stumbled upon a small mountain town by the name of Vancouver. So great was his impact in this snowy little town that I hear the townspeople erected a statue of him in the town square in his honour. Now once a year, Canadians travel far and wide to Vancouver to trade stories and sing songs of his amazing feats. But if you try to locate Vancouver on a map now days you may have a little trouble finding it, as now days it goes by the name Bovcouver (or maybe Vanvino).

Luke came back from Bovcouver a changed man. He was twice as knowledgeable and was now wise beyond his years. He was kind enough to share his knowledge with his friends as well as his stories involving his encounters with UFOs.

Luke Bovino is a good man whom I’ve had the pleasure of knowing personally. He’s always upbeat and his positive nature is infectious. He was always kind enough to laugh at my jokes no matter how poor of quality they may be and he just seems happy to be here in general.

Later in life, he finally discovered the secret to time travel and became the first man to travel through time. This would lead to chain reaction of disastrous consequences, which would take Luke several journeys through time before he could manage to stop a hole in the space time continuum destroying the world. But as they say, that’s a story for another day.

To Be Continued…

-Unidentified scholar circa 2010


Russell

I'll keep this brief because A) I am extremely late in providing BOTM with my portion of this super blog; and B) I'm nowhere near as artistic and funny as those who have written before me.

However, I do have a few things to say about a special man named Luke Bovino:

• Encouragable: I don't know any other person that is more encouraging than El Ino. My mood can go from mediocre to extremely happy in an instant with one strategically placed sentence from the mouth of the Italian Stallion. Furthermore to this point, his very presence at a party or a small social gathering is intoxicating - I think Hamish said it well in his famous Dr Hell article "If you're having a party, you need Luke".
• Laughter: Some of my greatest "laughter moments" from High School come from hanging out with Luke, especially in drama class. I recall a time when we had to read amongst ourselves from a play entitled "The Club", and it was Luke's jokes that made the task impossible to complete. 
• Movies: This guy Luke loves movies, and so do I. The funny thing is though, is that my taste in film is pretty different I have to say to his - but also very similar at the same time. With variety being the spice of life, this provides for some excellent conversation on films past and present.
• Generosity: Luke is extremely giving and generous. I travelled to Bovcouver last year and he was kind enough to provide me with a lodging, food, Van Dam, and the sights and smells of his newly-conquered town. 
• Friendship: I feel honoured to have Luke as a friend. We have shared some great times together, and I'm looking forward to keeping the good times rollin. I think all you need to do is to read the warm-hearted, genuine comments from his mates above to see just how much of an effect he has on peoples lives. 

Keep being you, Luke. I hope to one-day travel time with you, maybe to the year 11?

Wait Your Turn

I wrote this song when I was 17, and it's interesting to see what I was feeling back then. This song was written for the first incarnation of Vienna Circus in January 2005. I've always been proud of this song.

WAIT YOUR TURN

I can feel it (I can feel it)

Pumping though my veins

I know this feeling I know this feeling

Makes me fire and fire again

Get me noticed (get me noticed)

Because I don't think that I

Would be the lowest man to ever walk 

The lowest man to ever walk 

The lowest man to ever walk the earth

I can't find my way

To what I want to say

I just think that I 

Will be the one to cry

I'm just thinking of me

As who I want to be 

And maybe I will learn

To never wait my turn

I think I mess up (I think I mess up)

Because I don't love myself

Am I no better (am I no better)

Than the ones I never help

Didn't get the memo (get the memo)

Of how everything should be

Do I not listen or am I

Just the one who understands

Just the one who understands

The only one who understands my way to be

I can't find my way

To what I want to say

And now I know that I

I won't live to die

And if you're thinking of me

As who I want to be 

I know that I will learn

So you just wait your turn

Rhythm Guitar. Fuck Yeh.

I love playing guitar. I love the power I wield. Although I am in the process of becoming a better lead player (solos, riffs etc), I am first and foremost a rhythm guitarist and I get most satisfaction out of playing chords in my own unique (cough..Townshend..cough) way.

My style of playing is sort of like waves. I will strum a chord, letting it open itself to the fullest sound. And just at the peak of the wave, another strum will come crashing down on top of it. And sometimes, I like to have multiple strums crashing down in quick succession, once again like a bunch of heavy waves toppling over each other. It's a beautiful feeling. This is different in that it is not always on the beat, and almost always not repetitive. Often, right before my next strum, I will cut the sound off for a split second, leading to that much more of a powerful sound when the next chord hits. That's awesome.

I love my guitar, and I hope to build a collection over my lifetime. I am very picky about my picks. I like soft-medium picks that you can bend fairly easily, because they offer the chance to strum really fast when need be. But the pick still needs to be hard enough to really give me that FUCK YEH power I was talking about before.

I used to play bass, and that holds a different kind of power. As I play more lead guitar I find that holds something else beautiful and strong. Lead and rhythm each hold a unique kind of power. I'll leave it up to the current wielders of those swords to explain someday, but for now all I can say is that being a rhythm guitarist gives me a kind of catharsis I can't find anywhere else, where I am the ruler of a kingdom inhabited by six strings willing to surrender to my command.

- Lee from Vienna Circus

2 (separate) Poems

In keeping from the giver, have you ever fully known
What the world inside you looks like when you let your fire glow
Because I feel a sense of change here, a desire to misconstrue
All the the things I've ever known about me and about you

Love is not the answer, just a question to avoid
I dream of many patterns, too fragile to enjoy
Nothing there above me as I fall asleep tonight
Learning from a doctor how to truly unwind

Electric Cars

I may be naive when I say this, but wouldn't it be cool if we lived in a world where people did what was best for everyone, themselves included.

We can absolutely have electric cars on the roads. If starting now, every car manufactured was electric, then it would probably still take decades before everyone was driving electric cars because nobody is going to just abandon their current one. But still, there has to be a starting point, and the car and gas companies are stopping it from happening.

Just imagine if all these people meditated everyday and wanted what was best for everything. The heads of these industries would say, "well, looks like something has arrived that trumps what we've been doing. Now that we know, we'll have to stop. I'll have to find another job, but that's worth it for the sake of efficiency and the health of the planet I live on."

Sounds naive, but someone's got to think it.

My Quest For Minimalism

I've been affected by Hamish's article. I've decided to not just read it and think how cool that would be, but actually take it to heart.

Since I discovered Buddhism, I've felt a connection to the idea of minimalism and have had many moments to think about how I would like to start getting a bit more serious with it. I guess an irony is that through minimalism, I don't want to take as many things seriously. Because when I go on Facebook and see that there is something in my inbox or there is a notifuckation, I have a feeling (albeit a light and over time a subconscious one) of happiness that people want to talk to me. And the opposite happens when my inbox is empty. To me, that is taking something unnecessarily seriously.

When I saw Into The Wild, I felt a connection to the movie and it's message. To me, that is a film about minimalism, among other things.

When I was a kid, I thought about how much I wanted to be an adult, as I'm sure most kids do. Part of that adulthood did not involve a life filled with something like the internet and it's power to pull me in. We all know what it's like to go on the internet to look at one thing and find yourself sitting for hours looking at mindless stuff. Actually, this is more a personal thing, because most people find that looking at sites is a good way to expand your general knowledge, and if that's you, then that's right for you and your personality. But I've always been one to just be interested in a few things passionately and I don't feel a need to know much more than that. Also, it's not that the internet is a bad thing, it's obviously a great thing. But it is the amount of hours I have spent on the internet and the reasons I am there that bother me.

It all comes down to this: my music, my friends, my family and the art I experience. This is all I want. Because less crap equals more goodness. Through meditation, I am becoming more focused in my day to day life, and it is showing through how well Vienna Circus is going. I am slowly employing minimalism into my life. YES!!

- Lee

My Story (god, that sounds so much more pretentious than I was intending)

Starting at the age of thirteen, I was caught up in some heavy mind-fucking shit. This continued almost every day until only a few years ago. The best way to describe it is a mix of an OCD mentality and an extreme existential crisis... having to be dealt with by a young teenager without the ability or life experience necessary to cope with such problems. My worries stemmed from the fragility of life and having to grasp everything that came with that realisation.

I was thirteen, living in America at the time, and in between the end of the American school year and the beginning of the Australian one, was on an extended four month school holidays before coming back home. I was always pretty fragile as a younger child, with a proclivity to say sorry more than the average kid. It sounds like a good quality, but when 'sorry' isn't necessary, you only worry yourself and bug others. So when I started worrying about things a little more at thirteen, I didn't really see the writing on the wall. But when I found myself needing to tap my fingers the same amount of times on each hand, I instantly knew something was wrong and I remember not liking it at all. And from there it grew, and fast. I was now spending more days by myself than ever before, and this is when I started to have a sense of guilt about some things. I was soon spending everyday, from the time I woke up to the time I went back to bed, studying every thought, even the thoughts of the thoughts. I didn't want this, but it was starting to become uncontrollable. I had impulses in the form of voices telling me to do something I didn't want to do, and in turn I would feel guilty for even thinking it. I did think for a while that it was the devil's voice. Having a conversation with my parents was unbearable for both parties, as I would end up not being able to listen or concentrate on things being said and when I did, I would feel irrationally guilty for whatever it is I said or thought. None of these conversations would ever end up being a shouting match or anything aggressive, but I do remember my dad getting justifiably frustrated often and wondering why his son was such a wimp. I remember a conversation with my mum in which she said that they might have to take me to a mental institution. We actually had a name for all this, 'The Guilty Feeling'. That term would be used all the time over the next year.

Towards the end of my time in America, I had a thought. Needless to say, it was a very convoluted one, but it can be summed up: If I can't feel what I felt in the past, then what was the point of doing it. And if what I'm doing right now will become the past, then why am I doing this.

This single thought is what drove me to depression. Let's call this thought 'The Thing'. Whenever I thought of 'The Thing', I saw everything around me as almost non-existent and pretty much life itself as a black hole. I learned pretty soon to avoid the thought when it arose.

On the plane back to Australia, I was excited. But when we arrived and flew over Sydney, I couldn't enjoy it. I looked out the window and heard a voice in my head that said, "what's so special about this place, it's just a piece of land attached to the other piece of land I was on a few hours ago." It's like I was determined to sabotage any happiness I could have...

Once I was back in school, I had enough distractions that I only thought about 'The Thing' a few times a day. And then once a day. And then once a week. Until finally, it would pop into my head once every few months, where I would literally clench my teeth and wait for it to leave.

I felt as if I knew a secret but I didn't want to tell anybody because if they knew, they would feel what I felt and I didn't wish that on anyone. I had a vivid image in my head of myself standing at a podium, telling a crowd of millions about 'The Thing', and I genuinely thought that if that if that were to happen, there would be chaos.

By year 12, 'The Guilty Feeling' and 'The Thing' had mostly eased up, but if you ever saw me drunk back then you could tell that something was under the surface and it didn't take much more than a few beers to get it out. The more often I got drunk, the more often I had to face the fact that I didn't really see much point in living. I knew as soon as I started thinking of suicide that it was the wrong idea, but just like only a few years earlier, I didn't really have much control over my mind.

People talk about being a born again Christian and the day that they were saved. Well, if Buddhism is a religion then I was saved by a man named Dr Barry Davie. He is our family doctor, but also a family friend and an amazing person. I sat in his office in July of 2006 and told him everything. He listened with understanding and told me about a place where you can go and meditate with Buddhists for ten days. Let me remind you this is a doctor telling me this! I walked in to his office prepared to be sent to a specialist that deals with depression, not to sit in a room for ten days and not talk to anyone. After hearing Dr Davie's reasons for why I should go, I said I would, and a month later I was practicing Vipassana meditation for ten days in the Blue Mountains. On day six, I was meditating in my room and had the key moment that changed me, and since then, I've had many more and I hope they never stop arriving. Those ten days definitely changed my life and my attitude towards it.

Since then I have lead a pretty awesome life, meeting Helly, reforming Vienna Circus, and finding some amazing friends. I also find humor in more things than I ever have, and that to me may be the most important thing to come out of this, as it affects everything and everyone else. I can have some downer days too, but they're few and far between. I don't have 'The Guilty Feeling' at all anymore and when it comes to 'The Thing', I can stare at it straight in the face without fear or pain. In fact, there's an irony there, because when I was at the meditation camp, one of the wonderful things I realised was that if I can't feel what I felt in the past, then what was the point of worrying about it. And if what I'm doing right now will become the past, then why am I worrying about this. Remind you of something?

Turns out the thing I was in a funk about was the same thing that got me out of it.

 - Lee

Wrestlemania XXVI Review

It was awesome.

 - Lee

Alex Chilton R.I.P.

I discover new bands all the time. Some pass by me and I may never hear them again, and some stick around for a while. But only a few enter my heart the way that Big Star have. I discovered this amazing band in late 2008 and have been obsessed ever since. Alex Chilton is the lead singer, songwriter and he died of a heart attack a week ago. I have been thinking about him everyday since, and have been pretty messed up from it actually. I really didn't expect it to affect me the way it has. Big Star toured until the end of Chilton's life, and I know it sounds selfish but I really wanted to see them live and now I won't be able to. Waaaa. I just can't believe how lucky I am that those three albums exist, they'll stay with me forever. I'm not going to do a big write up on them because I would have to talk about every single track and I can't imagine talking about one and not another.

Alex Chilton, my hero, I'm sad you are gone, but I'll never stop listening to your songs. You were my age when you made them, and I'll always feel connected to you. Thank you for being a part of the runaway train that is rock and roll, I love you for it.

Watch The Sunrise

NPR story on Big Star from February 2010


- Lee

Wrestlemania

(EDITOR'S NOTE - It is expected that approximately two people will comment on this post, possibly less. The author will not be offended. But the author also implores you, dear reader, to enjoy the passion that your friend has for something and not fucking ridicule it.)

"ROCKY, ROCKY, ROCKY" - 67,925 fans at the Houston Astrodome, Wrestlemania X-Seven

I stopped watching weekly wrestling towards the end of 2004, but I will still tune in once a year and watch the month long build-up to the biggest show of the year, Wrestlemania. If you haven't heard of Wrestlemania, it's a huge event in which the biggest, most important (and best) matches of the entire year take place. It's basically like Christmas for wrestling fans. All the performers put on the show of their lives on the biggest stage of them all. Scores are settled, surprises are bound to happen and wondering who will have the best match of the night is all part of the fun. All the fueds finally come to an end, and hopefully the good guys win (in contrast to what some may believe, this does not happen every match. I once read in an encyclopedia that wrestling is a fake sport in which the bad guy beats up the good guy until the good guy makes a comeback and wins.... EVERYTIME!! Fuck you Britannica, you don't know shit. Talk to me about birds and flowers and whatever but don't try to tell me the babyface wins every match. You're only showing your imcompetence as a go-to source of reliable information).

Usually, Wrestlemania takes place in a massive stadium with up to 70-80,000 people in attendance. Who would want to watch the best show of the year from the bleachers of a stadium where the performers would surely resemble ants moving around a one centimeter squared circle is beyond me, but with that many people, it sure adds to the atmosphere when I'm watching at home, so I can't complain. The buildup to the big PPV lasts a little over a month, so for that period of time I become a fan of the product once again. This year will be Wrestlemania XXVI (how epic are roman numerals!), and is shaping up to be one of the best of all time, and I'm not just saying that because I'm in a month long Wrestlemania euphoria. The big show this time around features, among other things, the comeback of a legend, a rematch to one of the greatest Mania bouts of all time, and a world title match that has the potential be a surefire classic.

Suffice to say, I can't wait for Monday morning, March 29th. If you want me, I'll be on my couch with my cordless headphones on and my imagination running wild, watching the grandaddy of 'em all.

- Lee