Monday, June 14, 2010

Onions, Fools and Entourage


I had a thai noodle dish from the place at my work today, and they must have had a different chef working because the bloody onion wasn't cooked enough or cut fine enough. A few good bits were in there but most of them were pretty crap. So I had a really bitter (is that what it is?) taste in my mouth throughout the meal which ruined the whole thing. But it was in this discomfort that I observed a pretty cool feeling. The thought of onions in any capacity was now turning me off. And I fucking love onions. So I imagined having onions cooked on a barbeque, or in a thai dish properly bloody served. And I couldn't imagine ever wanting onions again. In my turned off state, I not only took out all the shitty pieces, I even took out all the good ones. I'd been burned by onions, and I was temporarily, psychologically damaged. One bad experience turned me off the whole deal. Okay, I'm gonna be straight with you people. I realised right now how much I don't like this article. I don't blame you if you're bored. Hopefully it doesn't turn you off my blogs for good.

A Fool

Today at work a guy was telling me about how something went a little haywire on his shift. 

He said, "The print came off the platter, I was like WTF, but I sorted it out in time."

He actually said 'WTF'. And he wasn't being ironic. What a stupid fool.


Imagine coming across a building painted in the brightest, most awesome colours and patterns. You assume that inside there must be something awesome going on, something great and fun. You open the front door and walk inside only to find the whole building is empty. That's what it's like for me to watch Entourage now. The premise is simple. How could you possibly have a boring show with that premise. THAT premise.

Season 5 ended with Vince being told by Martin Scorsese that he will play the Great Gatsby in Marty's new movie. It ended with that scene. Awesome stuff. Season 6 is gonna be sweet, we'll see the gang on set getting up to cool movie star shit, perhaps Vince clicks really well with Scorsese and a costar gets jealous followed by hilarity and fun ensuing. Or Eric gets too close to the project, trying to make changes to the film and it causes a rift in their relationship, the same rift that has been brought up in the season prior (see what I did there, that's called building character arcs). Or maybe Turtle will get a coke problem and die (the dream lives on). So obviously, this being the shittiest, most fucking underwhelming show of all time, season 6 starts with Vince at the premiere of The Great Gatsby. Because apparently what we imagine happened on set is better than what they could have given us. The writers are essentially admitting that they wouldn't be able to entertain us. Well it's hard to imagine what went on during the filming when they don't even discuss it at all during season 6. So the Scorsese angle had no payoff. It didn't even have a build up. It was of no consequence whatsoever. Actually it was worse than that, because they got us excited for nothing, which is worse than just, well, not doing the Great Gatsby/Scorsese angle at all, because at least then we wouldn't have even imagined him on set in the first place, only to be disappointed when we don't see it. Do the writers realise that the show is fake?? They're allowed to do ANYTHING, so why are we treated to him hanging at home doing nothing, waiting in between gigs. And if their answer is that it's just like that for actors sometimes, well fuck that. He's a made up FAKE character, he can do whatever they want him to do. And it's insulting to give an audience (a bloody loyal one to still be watching), a cliffhanger with no payoff, just to ensure that they watch the first episode of the next season. Basically, the writers are saying to us, "wait wait, please don't go..... how about this!!" And then they probably said to each other, "oh shit, Scorsese says he can't do the story arc. His agent told me he's got an actual career and is busy with real projects or some shit and that he was just doing us a favor for an episode because he was in town or some shit. Maybe we should have thought of this before. Oh well, who cares. Our audience surely won't. They'll keep watching forever whatever we do."

Entourage should be the best show on TV. It could be a deep, darkly comic satire on how the movie industry affects people, both the highs and lows. Well, Season 6 ended with Vince going off to film a fucking Ferrari biopic. Bullfuck. If the next episode is him at the premiere then I'm done. 

 - Lee


  1. Way to ruin season 6 of Entourage man... Actually, thank you, now I don't have to watch it.

  2. As if you're going to bbq's.

    Nice rant btw. I enjoyed all three.

  3. many times did you say bloody?

    season 6 Entourage was crzyyyyyy...I was all like Turtle goin to college? Whaaaaaaaaat? E got like 3 girlfriends? ZOMG! whats gon happen?

    Only watching 7 if Luke says it's good

  4. It would have been quicker & easier if you just said "I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not going to take this anymore!"

  5. The fact that you admitted at the end of the onion article, that it wasn't very good is what MADE it good! Classic Lee story telling I love it! Couldn't agree more with the entourage rant. I hate the writer's excuse of 'whatever you can imagine happening is far better than whatever we could show you' what bullshit! You're telling me that watching somebody laze around for 3 months is WAY more enthralling than watching someone on a movie set with Martin Scorcese? I repeat MARTIN SCORCESE!!! Their production budget must be slipping, it's the only conclusion I can make...

  6. props to Jay's "Network" quote