Sunday, May 30, 2010

Happy Birthday Luke!!!


El Birthday-Boy Loco! There’s something you need to know:
1987; the year you were born: 1+9+8-7 = 11
May; the month you were born: allocating each letter in the alphabet to its corresponding number, M=13, A=1 & Y=25, so Y-A-M = 11
29; the day of the month you were born: 2+9 = 11
L.A.B; your initials, again, with their corresponding numbers, L=12, A=1 & B=2, so L+A-B = 11
I’m just saying… Think about it. You are eleven. That’s got to help your theory… whatever it is.
All jokes aside, I love you like a brother.
No, seriously, you’re a loving, funny, generous and selfless brother and you’ve taught me much throughout my 21 years, not in the traditional teacher/student way, but through admiration. You give me confidence I didn’t know I had, and I know a lot of people could say the same thing. We get along famously and I treasure our closeness and unique sense of humour. I mean, who else could understand the hilarity of “Got my bean in a coffee cu~rp”, or even, “Yeah, go on then…”. Our memories speak for themselves and I look forward to making countless more with you.
May the road rise up to meet you.
Happy Birthday!

Oh, and according to Mark Hoppus of Blink 182, nobody likes you when you’re 23… so that’s unfortunate for you.


In Castle Hill, lives a guy named Luke Bovino

He is of Italian descent, as we all know

Enthusiastic and animated, he is always the life of the party

He also has another side which is sensitive, soulful and arty

He enjoys rap battles, and can always hit us with some cool rhymes

And if he had one wish, it would be to travel through time

He has a feisty Italian temperament, but becomes as gentle as a lamb

After he watches one of his favourite actors, Jean Claude Van Damn

It’s no secret that he’s a bit of a Cassanova

A pretty girl just has to smile at him and he’s completely bowled over

He seems to fall in love with every girl he meets

But one day he’ll decide that it’s time to play for keeps

Acting is his chosen career

Which requires him to put himself out there and show no fear

A unique, creative point of view and I suspect

That this will serve him well when he decides to direct

With this last line, I swear I’m not trying to make you puke

But we really do love you, our dear friend Luke


No epic blog about Luke could continue without at least one story of him being a dick. I remember being floored by Rocky the first time I saw it. Arriving at school the next day, I knew I had to find Luke as he was a huge fan of the movie and of course the whole series. He was the only other person I knew that had seen it, plus he called himself The Italian Stallion as an ode to one of his favourite movies. But when I finally found Luke, ready to discuss all the great moments of my new favourite movie ever, he stopped me after only a few words.

"I saw that way before you did."

"But Bov" I replied, "Nobody has seen this movie but us, you finally have someone to talk about it with!"

With a look of ego-fueled dickheadedness all he said was, "I'm a bigger fan than you."

And he walked away. To top it off, I learned only a little while later that he had never seen the film. Let me repeat that. Never. Seen. The. Film. Dick!

The person that Luke has revealed to me in recent times has turned out to be a great friend and someone that I have shared thousands of laughs with. NOT a dick, but with an ego the size of Kansas, he is one of my best friends and I love him like a brother.

The most awesome thing, from my perspective, to happen to Luke as of late is his discovery of the wealth of talent within himself in areas he didn't realize existed. I specifically mean his drawing. If someone were to look at a drawing by Luke, one would assume he has been doing this for a long time, but amazingly, he has only very recently found this side of himself, this unique talent. I say unique not because drawing is unique, but because Luke's personal artwork is. Works of abstract beauty are flowing from his heart to paper, and he's still a little shy about it, which is hard to believe. Two months ago, after watching Van Dam, The Trilogy was sitting at my dining table and Luke started drawing on this flimsy little napkin. After a few minutes, he had drawn a simple, yet amazingly complete piece of abstract art. We kept the napkin for prosperity.

Happy birthday Luke, I may be one of your fifty friends, but you're one of my five, so consider yourself very lucky. I know I do.


11 Reasons why I love Luke

  1. You are an amplifier of life: I think the best way to explain you as a person is someone who amplifies life. There are moments that I experience in everyday life, like a funny joke or a cool story and I’m usually glad to have experienced it. However, if I get to share that moment with you, your enthusiasm and passion makes the moment something greater. You may not be as funny as Lee or Hamish or Burrtank but your laugh is always genuine and insanely infectious, which makes any of their jokes infinitely better.
  2. Your confidence: As someone who has struggled with my own confidence at times, it has always been inspiring to have such a confident friend around to lead as an example and challenge me to confront fears.
  3. Your Integrity: If someone loved shows like Ghost Whisperer and movies like The Count of Monte Cristo* were their all time favourites, they might be afraid to admit it, but you not only admit it, you are proud of it and defend your love. I love how you are unyielding in knowing what is true to you.
  4. The memories: “Remember when we used to…” This is how some of my favourite conversations start. "...sit in English and I said all the answers under my breath, and Dean said all the funny jokes under his breath, and you yelled them all out to the class. You were the smartest, funniest guy out!"
  5. The future: I can see us being friends for a long time, and the memories are just going to keep growing. Lucky you always have a camera with you to make sure we capture at least a few of the countless special moments.
  6. Your Family: From Tones all the way to Cousin Frank, you have an amazing family which has to be a big reason why you are who you are.
  7. Your ‘heaps funny’ jokes: Nothing like having your best friend swear to you that he didn’t take your wallet 50 times until you believe him, and then he reveals that he had it the whole time.
  8. Your Birthday Messages: You were born to be an actor, but you can always fall back on being a Hallmark birthday card writer. I love how you come up with them on the spot. They are always special even if you write them in October, cos Facebook told you it was my birthday.
  9. HELD, BAJ, SEALD**, Dr Hell: Doesn’t matter what the abbreviation is, it always has an E and an L. Maybe we should be called EL Friendship Loco.
  10. Our friendship: Some of the conversations we have are deep and personal and I couldn’t have them with many other people and still feel comfortable having them. There is an obvious chemistry between us, and we understand each other so well.
  11. Your Friendships: It says a lot about a person when, while most people have around 5 close friends at best, you have about 20. I’m just glad to be one of them…officially number 3 on Facebook! Sucked in Lee, you’re not even on there.
*It's not a bad movie, just not the best in the world
**I don't think this abbreviation ever officially existed, there was BTNH but that didn't have EL in it

The Legend Of Luke Bovino Part 1 – The Early Years

Luke Bovino, son of an extremely attractive mother and mega-cool father, was a young man working his way towards fame and stardom via acting. Not even he could possibly imagine the amazing deeds he would go on to accomplish in life.

He started life just like any other unassuming individual. He worked part-time at channel 9, hung out full-time with his friend Van Dam and wondered the lands looking for the answers to the questions that plagued his mind such as; do aliens really exist? If a guy came up to me and said he was me from the future, would I believe him?

It was during his high-school years that he began acquiring some of the legendary skills he would utilise later in life. Be it making his friends laugh at his insanely entertaining stories, making humorous observations or stealing jokes/answers, Luke was somewhat of a jack-of-all-trades.
Also during these times he became a member of the powerful organisation HELD. HELD went on to make several amazing films with Luke often starring as the lead. It was his powerful performance in the critically acclaimed Around House Beatings, which led to his first Oscar nomination.

Once he travelled to the great-untamed snowy lands of Canada for the better part of a year where he stumbled upon a small mountain town by the name of Vancouver. So great was his impact in this snowy little town that I hear the townspeople erected a statue of him in the town square in his honour. Now once a year, Canadians travel far and wide to Vancouver to trade stories and sing songs of his amazing feats. But if you try to locate Vancouver on a map now days you may have a little trouble finding it, as now days it goes by the name Bovcouver (or maybe Vanvino).

Luke came back from Bovcouver a changed man. He was twice as knowledgeable and was now wise beyond his years. He was kind enough to share his knowledge with his friends as well as his stories involving his encounters with UFOs.
Luke Bovino is a good man whom I’ve had the pleasure of knowing personally. He’s always upbeat and his positive nature is infectious. He was always kind enough to laugh at my jokes no matter how poor of quality they may be and he just seems happy to be here in general.

Later in life, he finally discovered the secret to time travel and became the first man to travel through time. This would lead to chain reaction of disastrous consequences, which would take Luke several journeys through time before he could manage to stop a hole in the space time continuum destroying the world. But as they say, that’s a story for another day.

To Be Continued…

-Unidentified scholar circa 2010


I'll keep this brief because A) I am extremely late in providing BOTM with my portion of this super blog; and B) I'm nowhere near as artistic and funny as those who have written before me.

However, I do have a few things to say about a special man named Luke Bovino:
  • Encouragable: I don't know any other person that is more encouraging than El Ino. My mood can go from mediocre to extremely happy in an instant with one strategically placed sentence from the mouth of the Italian Stallion. Furthermore to this point, his very presence at a party or a small social gathering is intoxicating - I think Hamish said it well in his famous Dr Hell article "If you're having a party, you need Luke".
  • Laughter: Some of my greatest "laughter moments" from High School come from hanging out with Luke, especially in drama class. I recall a time when we had to read amongst ourselves from a play entitled "The Club", and it was Luke's jokes that made the task impossible to complete. 
  • Movies: This guy Luke loves movies, and so do I. The funny thing is though, is that my taste in film is pretty different I have to say to his - but also very similar at the same time. With variety being the spice of life, this provides for some excellent conversation on films past and present.
  • Generosity: Luke is extremely giving and generous. I travelled to Bovcouver last year and he was kind enough to provide me with a lodging, food, Van Dam, and the sights and smells of his newly-conquered town. 
  • Friendship: I feel honoured to have Luke as a friend. We have shared some great times together, and I'm looking forward to keeping the good times rollin. I think all you need to do is to read the warm-hearted, genuine comments from his mates above to see just how much of an effect he has on peoples lives. 
Keep being you, Luke. I hope to one-day travel time with you, maybe to the year 11?


  1. That was amazing. Made me Laugh, made me cry. A deep and sincere thank you to all.

    One of the best birthday presents ever.

    My favorite was deans.



  2. I remember that Rocky fiasco like it was yesterday! Some vintage Luke right thurr

  3. el the same locoMay 31, 2010 at 2:36 AM

    I mean, hamish's.

  4. El " " LocoMay 31, 2010 at 2:37 AM

    yeah man..I dont know why I did that. t'Was thinking bout that tonight.

  5. Lee, I think you meant 'posterity', not 'prosperity'. You fuckin idiot.

  6. Oh Jay, Blink 182. 1+8+2=11. Creepy. You fuckin idiot.

  7. Hamish, Luke wandered the lands, not wondered the lands. You fuckin red idiot.

  8. :) I was going to change it for you, but I thought naaahhh I'll let it simmer. I love you, sorry for calling you a fuckin red idiot.

  9. Why is there so much hate in here? Props to Dean on being my favourite and to Hamish for taking credit for Dean's error

  10. Oh is Dean unidentified scholar??
    Me confused

    Double sorry Hamish

  11. Well I was just kidding around. A few f-bombs here and there never hurt anyone.

    When Russell cussed me out for an awesome story I never even writt... man... how good was that!

    Russell got got!

  12. haha yeah i sure did.

    If I knew it was Dean I never woulda droppped the f - kinda scared of the Burrtank