I don’t like public toilets, even if they’re really private I still don’t like them. You know why? It’s other people. Other people are the worst, sometimes I feel like I’m the only one who knows how to use a toilet properly. Lifting a seat before you piss is a good idea if you don’t want to leave piss all over it. Flushing after doing a piss (or anything for that matter!) is a good idea too.
Recently I went into a public toilet to take a wiz, to my disgust there was a deep-yellow bowl of piss waiting for me, with droplets sprinkled all around the seat. It’s the height of rudeness and disrespect toward your fellow man to leave a toilet in this state. Normally in this situation I’d begrudgingly clean the seat after doing my business so the next person didn’t think it was me who made the mess. But this time I thought, fuck it - this is the last time I clean up after someone else. Never again will I wipe up the piss of some poorly potty trained piss fiend. I kicked the seat up with my foot, pissed, flushed and left.