Eden's blog got me thinking about death. I've often thought about it, generally I think about it after a close shave on the roads. From what I understand, a "conventional" fear of death is to be afraid of dying a violent death (getting shot, car crash etc)... or so pop culture/the innernettes tells me.
It's not a car crash I'm afraid of, it's leaving behind all those I love and how they'd feel. A fatal car crash is momentary physical pain, but your memory lingers on for decades. If you die in a way that could have been prevented, like making stupid decisions on the road, that's what I fear.
I'm not advocating living a safe life where you don't take any risks or have any adventures. That's probably worse than dying.
The idea of my mortality has impact on my daily life. It makes me happy when I'm feeling like shit at work. Recently at work we've (me and the guys on the helpdesk) have been getting worked really hard, and had some little perks taken away from us. I thought to myself, fuck this - I'm going to do whatever I like, I'll stick it to management, I'll refuse to do work that I don't believe I should be doing and I'll do what's right. In one year I wont care about anything that happen in the last two weeks at work, in five years I'll be in a different job and in eighty years I'll be dead.
Thinking about death brings you closer to how you truly feel about life.