I was driving to work the other day, trying to turn out onto a main road from a difficult side street. There isn’t the best visibility of what is coming so you have to be a little aggressive to make the turn. But on this occasion I found myself not looking for a good gap in traffic to take advantage of, instead I was looking to make sure another car was coming so I didn't have to go. I realised instead of finding opportunities to go I was just finding excuses to justify my lack of action.
I know this is a deep concept drawn out of a trivial moment but I think it relates to many things that I do in life. Last night I had planned to go to yoga.
“Oh but I haven’t been for a month…”
“Oh but it’s pretty cold…”
“Oh but I smoked last night and I feel lazy…”
So much of me concentrated on the negatives in an attempt to thwart my proactive desires that it was hard for me not to accept their awesome logic. And if I allowed myself to believe my own bullshitt then I could miss yoga and play Xbox guilt free! The positive side of me still had some life and a little voice in my head was heard.
“Yeah but yoga is good for me.”
“Yeah but yoga builds resistance to weaknesses like cold.”
“Yeah but if I got time to smoke, I got time to do yoga.”
I decided to go against my will and got in my car. Petrol tank? Full, damnit. I came up to the difficult turn - No cars :( As I parked and got out of my car my laziness had one more trump card - I forgot to bring water.
“Maybe I should just go home…”
“Just buy some water!”
“I don’t like to buy plastic bottles…”
Now even my hippie self was arguing with itself, but I sit here writing this today with pain in my legs and back so good triumphed over evil.
Anyways I think I will continue to make excuses whenever I come up to something challenging. The key is to try and view the excuses objectively for a moment and see the pettiness of them. Or better yet just focus on the positives when opportunities show themselves. Deep down we know what is right and wrong and excuses are generally bred from laziness or fear. Next time I drive to work I won’t be afraid to pull out, even if there is a semi trailer speeding towards me!
- Eden (while listening to Pablo Honey - Radiohead)