Monday, February 22, 2010

Space Camp

When I was five years old I saw an awesome movie about a bunch of kids that go on an airplane that gets taken over by baddies and they have to beat the baddies and take back control of the plane and there's this cool scene where the black kid throws a bomb out of the plane just before it explodes and you watch it blow up in the sky and the sky was black because they were flying at night and then they have to land the plane without any training after they tie up the baddies.

I never saw this movie again but it was without a doubt the most sought after movie of my childhood. Every now and then, I would think of it, wishing I could watch it again. I remember when I was 11 and for christmas my sister got a book listing about every movie you could think of (the publishers of that book must hate IMDB). The first thing I thought when she opened her present was, ohmygod, if it has every movie then it has the kidsintheplanemovie! So I grabbed the humungous alphabetically arranged book and flipped through thinking of every possible title but I needed a first word: kids, plane, bomb... I was out. There was nothing.

Cut to a few weeks ago and I'm flipping through the Foxtel movie channels. I see a movie on the family channel called Space Camp. I keep watching for a bit and I get a weird feeling in my soul. I think this is it. But how could it be the right movie. This movie is about a bunch of kids that go to 'space camp' or something. But alas, as I kept watching I realized that this was the elusive movie that had ingrained itself into my mind for years.

But it wasn't a plane, it was a space shuttle. It wasn't set at night, it was out in space. And I guess they did have some training to land the thing. But the black kid was definitely still black. Oh and one more thing, this 'awesome movie' is almost quite literally a piece of shit.

I always said I'd do anything to see this movie again. But now that I finally did, I know the truth about 'Space Camp' and my memories are tainted forever. Thanks Foxtel, for ruining my childhood.

P.S. That's Joaquin Phoenix in the middle. Apparently he used to go by the name Leaf. Yeh sure dude, Joaquin is heaps better. Faggot.


  1. That was a great blog... until you dissed Joaquin!

  2. What a leafy faggot that guy is! How dare he test mainstream consciousness.

    Haha - Best blog I've read this year.

  3. Oh Lea Thompson and Kelly Preston. They're pretty hot. I always wanted Marty to fuck his mum in BTTF. That bitch was in heat!

    Anyway, cool blog man. Sometimes I think of places I used to go to as a kid (i.e. my grandparents old house) and in my mind it was a huge house, massive pool... everything was big. I've not since been back there for obvious reasons. But any place that I have been back to after 10 years or so seems to small. I guess when you're a kid things are grand. Even shitty movies.

  4. That cover becomes so funny when u keep looking at it. And I think that's Jimmy from the OC - he really needs a new agent

  5. Who the fuck is the black guy?

    Awesome, he voiced the Paladin in Diablo 1 and 2. Respect.

  6. haha, "the black guy".

    The 'A' used in SPACE looks a little like an 'I' don't you think? But i guess it IS a space-shuttle, ohhhhh i get it, damn these guys are clever.