Friday, August 14, 2009

A poem.

In primary school there came to be
a talent show that was meant for me

I thought to myself, "what should I perform?"
something, surely, not of the norm

should I learn to juggle or skip a jump rope
until I found karate was my only hope

I would kick and punch and they would cheer
and into the hearts of the bullies I could even strike fear

the night before as I prepared my act
I thought of my dream girl, Chloe, who as a matter of fact

was performing as well, some girlie ballet dance
using a backing track of 'Backstreets Back', which would surely put the school in a faggy trance

as I stood behind the curtain waiting for my turn
I could feel the excitement as my stomach would churn

I was now walking to them, my people were waiting
this was the moment I was anticipating

I started the 'kata' now a few punches through
as I heard the beginnings of what sounded like boos

THIS COULDN'T BE, karate is so cool
but here in this moment, I looked like a tool

as I stood now crying over a chorus of laughs
I threw every punch, looking like an ass

my eyes became misty, I could barely commit
with each kick my coolness took another hit

nothing could come close to how shitty I felt
and you know what!?, I was even wearing an orange belt

not black like the night, or lucifer's lair
but faggy old orange, serious, I swear

I just couldn't do it, the pain was too much
so I ran off stage crying like a little bitch and such

I could hear them still hollering even from backstage
when Chloe appeared with an idea to gage

she told me not to worry, it would all be alright
"they think they've beaten us, but they're in for a fight!"

"you must go back out there at the end of the show
they'll see you have the courage to defeat any foe

finish your performance even if it feels wrong
they'll HAVE to like you, you can even use my song!"

I could tell something was wrong as soon as she said it
but my love was so strong that I had to forget it

so I waited until the last act was done
and the teacher announced there would be one last one

he told them to be nice, and that it's mean to jeer
and I stood centre stage wondering how I got here

the other children didn't know what was about to occur
for it was not just a repeat, but something absurd

I waited and waited and when Chloe hit PLAY
a new level of faggytoolness was now underway

I lunged and attacked at the open air
while 'Backstreets Back' confirmed my despair

but I finished my act with no mistakes
and the music stopped as well as the ache

they were all now giggling and were told to keep quiet
but just then I realized, THEY wouldn't try it

from that point on I've understood
that a loss of shame is pretty good

and to laugh at yourself whenever you can
will always help you to understand

that nobody else controls how you feel
for only you can see what's real

humiliation only exists in your mind
so laugh with the audience and you'll never be blind

- Lee


  1. Man... you choked me up at this point:
    "but just then I realized, THEY wouldn't try it"

    Then upon re-reading this bit is more meaningful:
    "but I finished my act with no mistakes
    and the music stopped as well as the ache"

    Moving poem. My desire to say something dickheaded right now is soooo strong.

  2. I'd also like to add I've learned something from reading that. It's funny how what I've learned from you (not just from this poem) is to not care what other people think - via humiliation.

  3. Oh and one more thing, a wise man once said:

    "Dignity is overrated. Fuck it."

  4. hahaha that was the funniest thing ever! Sorry man, it's funny to look back on. Year 6 kids can be such dicks!!

  5. I think this story is perfect when you do the actions and imagining backstreets back playing

    nice you put it in poem form with a little life lesson at the end

  6. dam man. Loved it. Tears were starting to show, but at the same time laughter was about to blow.

    Oh shit now you got me rhyming, its hard to leave a comment when you gotta think about the timing.

    But nice words lee none the less, you brought back mad memories that are now the best.

    for if school had no lee, it would have never be.

    but because this is the it is now the most fondest memory.

    So i raise my glass to the man they call lee, and say thank you to he,

    for I will watch you any day ..perform karate.

  7. - But because this is the, <-- (note the comma) it would have never be

  8. Awww that's really nice guys. I was just trying to find a way to make that story interesting to read since it's best when told, didn't know I created a masterpiece. Eden isn't as enthusiastic for some reason, even though he knew how worried I was earlier that day about what to write. Thanks for the 'wow you came through', eadz. Thanks. Whatever.

  9. Eden has no heart
    Some say he is too smart
    I am about to fart
    In Edens mums leg part

  10. after my awesome poem thats all lee had to say a bunch of crap about eden? I take it all back.

    Do karate in front of me, and i'll laugh at you while i call jeram and tell him to grab phillip and barton and get there asses down to wherever we are to watch the funniest shit in the world. again.


  11. Thank you for real guys for the nice things you said, I worked pretty hard on this and it's nice to know it affected any of you coz that's the point behind our blog.

  12. The loss of shame
    Is more than a game
    I admire you, Lee
    For who you can be!

    What obvious rhymes;
    I think I can do better:

    You were Lee, the orange-belted kid,
    A little Bruce, without the protein fetters...

    Also bad, but what can I say?
    I think I shall lay by the bay and eat some hay…

  13. This comment has been removed by the author.

  14. Lee you know i thought it was some sweet rhyming
    it even had some multis laced with neat timing

    you could pretend this never happened and lie instead
    you admit to an early edition of the crying hed

    Its a harsh and bitter and sad sweet fact
    that you punched through tears to backstreets back

    But the lesson at the end is definitely magnanimous
    So when your back lets toast with a bag o canabis