Thursday, November 19, 2009

Things I Don't Like

"Once upon a time, in some out of the way corner of that universe which is dispersed into numberless twinkling solar systems, there was a star upon which clever beasts invented knowing." - Friedrich Nietzche

Be aware this is going to be painful and tedious to read, I hope you can enjoy it and join in on the disliking. Let the listing begin:

• Sunday night when I have to work early on Monday, somehow it takes away the weekend feeling.

• The majority of women who work in an office environment. I should be more specific really, not all, not even majority, just women with ‘PA’ or even worse ‘EA’ in their job title.

• People who prefer cats to dogs.

• Sunrise/Today. I can’t believe how quickly those shows destroy time. Has anyone actually stopped to think how shitty they really are? Think about it, over the course of 3 hours they have 6x 10 minute news reports, and then they have mindless banter between hosts for 6x 3mins, 1x 15min cooking segment, followed by Kochie’s joke of the day. At first I thought it must be hard to make a show like this, especially when its 3 hours every day. Then I realised it was so mind numbingly formulaic that any dope could do it. Even Karl Stefanovic did it drunk… actually that was better than all 45 hours (yeah FORTY-FIVE HOURS, ABC2 have their own show too, slightly less crappy) of breakfast show television that week put together.

• Bouncers.

• Any club in the city that has even the slightest air of self-importance. If I have to line up, dress up, pay to get in… consider it part of this list (I’m sure all those places are deeply offended too)

• Working early.

• Working late.

• Working.

• Daylight savings. Changing the time just gives me the shits. Why don’t these dickheads from WA do it to, are they too good? I just think if we’re gonna every state should do it (or not).

• Those who talk shit about McDonald's. You get these fat people who’re all like “oh I wouldn’t eat McDonald's, that stuff’s terrible for you”, or these ex employees who say they won’t eat. Well I’ve been eating it for years and have never gotten sick (actually I got sick once) and I’m trim and healthy as a mule.

• Feminism

• Racism

• Judaism

• Eden *

• First names as surnames that end with an ‘S’. E.g. Matthews, Stevens, Johns, etc. The surname ‘Wagstaff’ gives me the shits too.

• People who don’t shut up about manual cars and are all like, “oh I could never drive an auto”.

• The sound of ringing phones, or the sound of a phone on silent vibrating on a wooden surface.

• People who are always negative.

• Traffic lights. Well ones that make you wait a long time.

• Holding lifts for other people. This is why when I walk into a lift, I try not to turn around. Seriously, who wants to hold the lift for other people? I sure as fuck don’t, and you know what? I don’t want people holding the lift for me, because I don’t like:

• People.

This might be the stupidest blog yet. However, I’ve always thought about writing a list of stuff that irks me. Funny how it’s my longest one yet, I probably should read some of my earlier posts. If you don’t like the this article:

• People who don’t like this article.


- Dogman


* Eden is one of the best people I've ever met.

8 comments:

  1. Things I don't like:

    - People who post their blog on the same day as someone else
    - People who write dicky comments demeaning someone else
    - Myself

    ReplyDelete
  2. I also don't like people who don't know how to use ALT codes. It's ALT + 7 (on the number pad) to get a dot point.

    • Russell
    • Lee

    I assume Eden knows how to use them. Fucking knows everything.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Things I also don't like:

    - people assuming I want to use bullet points
    - people assuming that my comments are posted via a computer, rather than a BB without bullet point functionality
    - Eden and his uber-brain

    ReplyDelete
  4. The post makes you sound so negative!! However I know you pretty well by now so here are some things you like:
    • Animals (especially cute ones)
    • NBA
    • Bacon Spaghetti
    • Wearing tracksuit pants
    • Harry Potter
    • Astronomy
    • Small fruits
    • Boobs
    • Seasons 3-8 of the Simpsons
    • LOTR
    • Being nice to other drivers on the roads
    • Not working

    These are just a few- now you sound like a well balanced man xx

    ReplyDelete
  5. You think you're soooo funny don't you Hamish?

    Also Russell, AotW doesnt count as a blog that gets its own day

    ReplyDelete
  6. guywhowroteonatuesdayNovember 20, 2009 at 3:52 AM

    • haha this was funny, I • clicked the karl link of the today show and • then spent the next 15 minutes watching videos of • karl doing funny shit on the today show.

    • what are we doing?

    • hamish is funny.

    • funniest dude on this blog

    • cept for the dude who wrote a blog on a tuesday. who was funnier then anyone else who wrote on a tuesday.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Eden - I don't know if I'm ready for these blog politics. I need to learn the way of the blog before such a blunder is repeated. I love everyone, and like everything - cept this article.

    ReplyDelete