Dogman, a Historie

It was a brisk winters evening in the winter of 1946 in the London suburb of Barking when the Barchangel Dogriel appeared to a woman named Mary.

Dogriel was an Angel of magnificence and importance, it has been written in the classical texts that he was the most loyal Angel in the Great Battle of C’Anine against Lucifer and the Faecal Felines*. Due to his great loyalty, it is said that he is the best friend of God and therefore – man.

The Barchangel Dogriel appeared to Mary and he proclaimed, “Rejoice, highly favoured one, blessed are you among bitches!”

Mary said nothing, she looked stunned and fearful.

The Barchangel Dogriel proclaimed, “Be not afraid Mary, for God has looked kindly upon thee. And you will conceive in your cracke and bring forth a puppeh, and you will name him Dogman”. Dogriel continued, Mary, awed by the revelation. “He will be a grand puppeh, and he will be called the Dog of the People and of his kingdom there will be no end.”

Mary finally spoketh, “I am but a Virgin, doth God have skille enough to explore thine cavernous cracke?”

The Barchangel Dogriel proclaimed, “Bitch! No cracke be too wide or too deep for God to fill! Go now to the Isle of Dogs where you shall find a Public House, and here three men will seek your puppeh and rejoice in his miraculous birth.”

And with this, the Barchangel Dogriel vanished.

*This is where the Dog VS Cat rivalry we have today originated.

Face Your Fears

We have all heard this said to people. We all have said it to someone else. We have all had it said to us. In two of these scenarios it makes perfect sense that the fear must be faced, but in the other you begin to wonder whether it should be adhered to.

I don’t know if everyone is as clear about their biggest fear as me, or whether it is similar in how it may present itself. But mine is very distinct. I have a fear of public speaking. I really fall apart when a certain degree of attention is paid to me. It becomes worse if the situation is professional. Worse still if I am visible. Basically the fear arises at the idea of looking nervous in front of people while I talk or present something. This fear of appearing nervous then causes me to be nervous, which then feeds the fear, which feeds the nerves, which feeds the fear, which feeds the nerves, which- well you get the point.

The vicious circle makes no sense at all. It is like the old belief that you have to invite a vampire into your house before it can enter and kill you. Simple right? Don’t invite any vampires in, right? It's as if I was wandering the theme park of life and spotted a ride called the Nervepool. It’s like a whirlpool and when you jump in you just spin around and around feeling more and more sick. The guy warned me that once you go in it’s fucking tough to get out, but I jumped in anyway. And now as I try to stay afloat I- you know what, let’s stick with the vampire analogy.

Tree: Part I

Tree (left) with James: Smith St, Fitzroy

This past weekend (on a journey that unbeknownst to me became quite a spiritual one) whilst visiting my good friend James in Melbourne, I met a man named Tree who changed my life. Tree is a tarot reader (among other things) and on Sunday evening I had the ultimate pleasure of being the subject for one of his readings. Before I get to Tree and the reading, I will share with you the activities that I partook in this past weekend.

[Note: Tree will be discussed in Part III]

Friday 12/11:

Upon arrival in Melbourne on Friday afternoon, I made my way to James' house in Thornbury. We hugged and spent 10 minutes catching up. The last time (and the first time) I saw/met James was in July, at the Vipassana meditation retreat in the Blue Mountains. He travelled there from Melbourne by car with a girl named Carly, whom he had only just met through a mutual friend that knew they had both planned on going, and suggested that they travel together. They are now a couple :)

James filled me in on his living situation, and that he was currently in the process of moving out of the share house in Thornbury to another share house in a suburb called Upwey, in Melbourne's east, at the foothills of the Dandenong Ranges (where James grew up) - the house in which we would stay that night. So after packing some things for the night into my backpack, we made our journey by foot, bus and train to Upwey train station as we had a Kabbalah workshop to get to...

Diary of an Elitist

January 5th

Hey Diary,

I didn’t want to write ‘Dear Diary’ it’s just so overused don’t you think? And this is just our first meeting so it’s not like I’m going to be all love at first sight. We’re just getting to know each other. Very cliché (it’s cliché to say something’s cliché).

Anyways, where to start? Well, I guess I should say that I’ve started you because Jonny left for his holiday today and now I’m a little lonely. I mean I can’t talk to anyone like I can talk with him. I guess the first thing I have to get used to is seeing movies by myself. We swore to ourselves that we would see at least one movie a week no matter what, so even if we can’t do it together, we will keep it up. I mean I have to keep up my movie blog don’t I? I’ve got 10 followers now!!!! I might message a few of them and try get them on Facebook, see if they want to leave some comments on the site. I’ll keep you posted!

As for the site, last week I blogged about Transformers 2 (ugh!). I gave it minus 1 star(s), the first time any movie has achieved that rating from me. I would tell you why, but after sitting through it, and then writing about it I think I would be sick if I spent any more energy commenting on it.

Well I’m gonna go watch some Family Guy (seasons 1-3 of course!!!) before I go to work so I better head off. Nice introduction I think. Like our own Act I! I wonder what story arcs and character development await us in Act II!!

ciao,
Sam

Epilogue: Jonny

From the Wakefield Flats series...starts here

To Kevin,

Hey lil bro, whats been happening?

Ive been pretty busy here. They moved me to kitchen duties which has been awesome. I’m really loving the cooking and it has given me some ideas on what to do when I get out of this place – you know apart from banging teens and beating on their boyfriends. Haha just joking (I’ll wait til I’m off parole before I do that). Sansky tells me that – Oh wait I ruined the surprise – but yeah Sansky tells me I should follow my heart and if my heart wants to cook I should cook.

So yeah I guess you guessed by now but guess who my new cellmate is. That’s right. Sansky. You probably knew that cos he banged one of the little girls in your school right? That’s why they got him here with me. They must just throw the young pussy predators together so we can trade stories about- yeah I’m sure you heard enough and are more interested in getting some fresh conch of your own. Its funny though I went to school with this little fucker. We called him Weasel, used to always wease from his astma (plus he looked like a weasel. Weasel Sansky…voted least likely to end up in jail but most likely to be a prison bitch if he did. Well both those turned out to be wrong. His here and is no bitch. His been working out big time, under my guidance of course and he talks his way outta any fight. But if he gotta fight he does it well. Got plenty respect. More than I had on my first visit. All he talks about is the broad he got waiting on the outside. Brainy bitch who promised to wait for him. I told him they never wait but he rekons shes different.

Fuck I sound like I wanna fuck this guy. So whats going on with me? Not much really…prison as usual. I already mentioned I like cooking… I really hope you get a chance to write or visit me. I’m sure there is plenty more interesting shit happening in your corner so hit me back.

Peace,
Jonny