Wednesday, April 28, 2010
At Vienna Circus’ first gig in a week I am going to wear my favourite pair of underpants because a part of me believes that the new comfortable undies I got for Christmas are generally more lucky than the old red Bonds which will probably get their first holes in the next few months.
I think I am the sole cause of the Roosters losing whenever I go to watch them play. I am a curse. But then not long ago I watched them and they were losing. I was in the Sun and decided to take off my jersey to cool down. From that point on they started winning. Maybe it’s not me then…it must be my jersey!
I can’t help but think that when I am in a rush, my impatience and frustration is the thing that keeps turning every fucking green light orange just early enough to force me to stop.
But I’m not always superstitious. I don’t mind tempting fate. I don’t get sick. I will never crash my car or get caught by the police speeding. Speaking of cars though, Luke once asked me how my car was going. I said pretty good so far.
“Ooohh, you shouldn’t have said ‘so far’ man.”
I shrugged. I felt indifferent (one of my favourite emotions, I think) to the subject. I was pretty sure my words weren’t the defining factor in the fate of my car.
“It hasn’t broke down and I don’t worry about it. And if it does then I’ll worry about it.”
My mindset seemed reasonable enough until the next day when I saw smoke coming out of the bonnet and the temperature gauge climbing sheepishly upwards. Indifference couldn’t help me now. All I could think of was “Goddamn it, Luke! Did he jinx me or did he just point out that I jinxed myself?”
Maybe we just underestimate the probability of coincidence. The other night Lee and I joked about Luke’s ‘11 theory’ and how funny and frustrating it can be at the same time. Then I checked the time in mocking homage to the theory. It was 02:11…Neither us knew what to say. Maybe I’ll regret it when we all die and Luke is in 11th Heaven and Lee and I are in He11.
Or perhaps I could resort back to the Roosters for a second. Sam Perrett once had trouble under the high ball at fullback. He saw a sports psychologist who found that he would say to himself “Don’t drop it!” but all his mind heard was “Drop it!” He began saying to himself “Catch it!” and lo and behold he became the Roosters best player for the season.
Perhaps our superstitions are similar to a faith in religion, an idol, a discipline, oneself or others. A focused mind is the most potent yet we all need something to help us focus. Something solid, uncompromisable in integrity, that gives us confidence during the good times and the bad. My underpants give me the confidence of positivity. A fundamentalist Christian and a Douche bag Atheist are essentially the same thing, holding an unbreakable faith or an unbreakable lack of it. I am exponentially more creative when I meditate or do yoga regularly, yet when I stop I become a sloth, lazy and quick to disregard any criticisms or doubts over my weakened character.
If I just maintain my practice then nothing bad will ever happen to me…Touch wood.
- Eden (while listening to You In Reverse by Built To Spill)