Tuesday, January 25, 2011
On top of this I have spent the last few years learning practices such as meditation and yoga that have helped me quell any negativity and maintaining a positive attitude in most situations. This practice has also improved my expression of positive emotion a little bit but I still generally only emote through sarcasm, backhand compliments and faceless blogs.
I have been quite proud of this for most of my life. It gives me that centred calm that helps me stay rational and make important decisions under stress. It’s helping me become a man! But that centred calm could also be called an emotional vacancy and I am starting to crave a little more liberation with my true feelings. I think another contributing factor was missing out on sex for so long.
The only time I can really let loose is with alcohol but I made a promise to myself that I wouldn’t let this be my only outlet. I don’t want to become dependant on any substance and alcohol fuelled nights rarely ended well.
So now I have to ask myself: Is it a benefit or a hindrance that I can be so unfazed by so many things. Sure it helps me take a risk or do a dare but it also encourages a caged soul. I guess it is important to consider the fact- ahh you know what, who cares…