To Beard, or not to Beard

About 6 months ago I shaved my beard off. Once it began to grow back I committed myself to not shaving it again until I was married. That would mean I would go unshaven for nearly a year and a half. Well, now that I have 6 months growth I can say I'm getting a little tired of it.

Now consider the cons of a long beard. When you spill food, you sometimes dont notice, when I eat I wipe my face constantly because I cant tell whether something has attached itself to my beard. Wiping your face after every mouthful is fucking annoying. Which leads me to washing. Washing your beard like you do your hair is kinda cool, but its also kinda stupid. It's unfortunately necessary as it'll stink after a few days without a wash.

The pros? Looks pretty cool I guess. It certainly makes one look older.

All things considered, no beard - less cleaning.

I'm shaving it off.

Fuck you guys.

- Dogman

PS - To use "To ___, or not to ___" is almost a cliche nowadays. It was only a few years ago that I found out what 'to be or not to be' truly means. If memory serves me, its the opening of Hamlet's soliloquy where he contemplates whether or not he should take his own life... to be or not to be. I really should read Shakespeare one day.

Eden and the Shit Cat

Twas a summers night on the eve of October two
A little girl named Eden sat quietly on the loo
Then on the sill of the window just of her view
She heard a delightful sound of a pussy cats coo...

Swifly wiping her rear from front to back
(She avoids infection of her crack)
In order to glimpse this fine young cat
But just as Eden was about to flush
The cat jump in with the stinky mush

Cooing no more, the pussy cat screeched
Eden tried to save it, but it was out of reach
A sadness came over her as she realised her folly
She wonder if she'd ever be jolly...

As the sun rose brightly on October three
Eden staggered to the loo to take her morning pee
When out the window perched in a tree
She spyed the magic-cat... dripping with poo and wee

- Dogman

Relationship Troubles

Last night I was doing some amazing farts. Like, really good farts. They weren't bassey farts, but they were long, dry, sustained, high pressure farts. A very large amount of air pushing out of a tight puckered bung.

But something wasn't right... she wasn't laughing. Apparently I do so many she just can't laugh anymore. Well fuck that, I laugh at all her farts.

- Dogman