Walter Wallace - Chapter 17

Stevie was in a relatively good mood. He hadn’t managed to make any inroads into the undercover job he was doing on Mark Tanenworth, but he always enjoyed chatting with the man. In fact they had become quite good friends. Mark was an oddball – harmless and quick to make a joke at his own expense. Stevie could never quite figure out why he would want to stay working in the grime of his family business when he seemed to have the makings of an artist. His obscure point of view on the world would surely capture the imaginations of a small but significant following. Were he truly performing his duties as a doctor (or even a friend), Stevie would suggest this to Mark but he had to remember why he was helping Mark in the first place – to help himself.

There were no two ways about it, and though Stevie had managed to hide from some inconvenient truths, this one was much too obvious. Stevie had had personal suspicions of the Citadel Inc empire for a long time but it was foolish for a sentry level police officer to try and undertake a case against the biggest corporation in the world – plus he had little idea as to what exactly Citadel Inc may be guilty of and even less evidence. He had decided to bypass the suppressing weight of due process and instead made it a little hobby of his to investigate the multi-national corporation in his free time. It was initially a mammoth task. He had no real foundation to build upon. But one day he got lucky.

Walter Wallace - Chapter 16

Mark Tanenworth woke late that morning. He was having some trouble setting the alarm on his new phone. He was always messing up the AM and PM so he switched it to 24 hour time, however this led to him spending 10 minutes every night working out that 2000 means 8 but it still wouldn’t go off and “It’s pointless to worry about what happened because it is already 10 o’clock,” he said as he rolled out of bed. “Oops,” he said aloud, “caught myself talking again.” He stopped and inhaled and exhaled slowly, wandering if his psychologist would be proud of his diligence – even if it was proving increasingly ineffective. He supposed that he could raise the issue this day as he was about to talk with his psychologist very soon – he had a meeting at...21:30 that very morning, which he was now rushing down the rickety fire escape to get to. He exited Citadel Towers a few minutes later and hopped in the backseat of a black sedan.

Things to Yell While at the Footy

So it is that time of year again: Footy season! And with record numbers in memberships and season tickets the crowds should be bigger and better than ever. Whether you are a first timer or a 300 game veteran from before the war or whether you would simply like to touch up on your vocabulary before performing your duties as grandstand coach/referee/tactician/commentator/motivational speaker/expert opinionist/bogan footy fan – this is a must read!

Here are a few of the basic phrases which will help you enjoy your first game of the season to the fullest.

Drop it – a split second before the opposition player catches the kick off.

Smash him! – When he doesn’t drop it.
*Variation – Hit him

Get off him – when dominant tackles start to get on your nerves.
*Alternate use – when your player acts like a fish out of water under the weight of the defender

Offside – when you are behind the posts with no lateral point of reference at all and are just desperate for a penalty.

Get em onside – when your team’s wingers scoot out of dummy half but only gain 3m
*For extra emphasis: Get em onside, ref!

Six again! – You saw them touch it!
*Remember to wave you fist sideways above your head. Pivot from the elbow for perfect technique

Just call it yourself, you idiot! – When you know the opposition scored but the ref goes to the video ref anyway, in effect giving the opposition fans twice as many chances to celebrate

What? – Confusion over a decision

Tackle him! – when you’re not sure if your team remembers the fundamental forms of defence

Go. Go! GO! – Line break!

What are you even here for? – Always directed at touch jud- I mean sideline official

Shepherd – I mean who actually says obstruction?

What!?- Another terrible decision. Confusion is increasing.

Benefit (of the doubt) – For learned watches of the game who can predict the video refs every decision

Run Forward – When your winger or centre covers 60m sideways

Forward – Usually said in unison with 1000 other people in the stadium (usually not including the ref)

40/20 – when you have that divine premonition of a 40/20 even before it leaves the player’s boot

WHAT! – No confusion here. The ref is a cheat.

Hold it! – The basketball carry 20m out from your own line

Ref’s Call – see: Benefit

Use it! – When an overlap develops but the front rower spots a gap

C’mon…- Deflated after 3 chances at the opposition goal line. Somehow they always seem to know the inside-ball-to-tired-prop play that was worked on all week

Intercept – When things are getting desperate. Usually after 3 consecutive drop outs

Various Expletives – This would require a second article

Would’ve won if the ref wasn’t such a [see next article] idiot – Yes that bad call in the 47th minute sparked the 30 point massacre

So I hope this has helped refresh your memory. Feel free to add a few of your own.

- Eden

Walter Wallace - Chapter 15

Walter woke early, as he usually does, to get ready for work. It was quiet outside and he had some hope that the mob had gone home for the night. He ran a cold shower in order to wake himself up after a rather sleepless night (plus the stud isn’t exactly equipped with heated water) and by the time he was dressed and eating his breakfast he felt normal again; like it was all a dream (a very exciting one compared to the usual windows that opened out to views of sandstone walls).

As he ate he heard a faint clicking sound. At first he thought it was his jaw but he couldn’t feel it; only hear it. He turned around and saw at the window a large camera with its shutter rapidly opening and closing. “How you going there, Walt?” said the camera, “Get a good sleep then?” A youthful face popped up from behind the camera with a cheeky smile and a wave. Walter waved back uneasily. “Don’t mind me, mate. Enjoy your breakfast.”

Walter Wallace - Chapter 14

Sam Tank, (or Sammy Tank as Boss liked to call him. “Sounds more like a mob name,” he had said. Tank had wanted to remark that their operation had absolutely no affiliation with any mob but decided to bite his tongue. He often did this in Boss’s company) was biting his tongue. He was on the phone with Boss who had just finished ordering him to do another pointless task. Tank begrudgingly acquiesced. He slowed his car to a stop and performed a neat three-point turn. He was barely two minutes from his home but now he was heading in the opposite direction to Phil Talley General Hospital to explain why a seven foot giant had just carried a nearly lifeless body into the emergency.

At the hospital he first encountered the numbing whine of Ms Citadel, “You wouldn’t believe what he has done! You’ve got to do something Sammy! Oh he is such a horrible man! Who would do such a thing?” Who would marry such a thing? he bit back - a the stinging sensation surging through his tongue. He was unsure if he was directing the muted slur at her or to her husband – marrying either one was a horrid thought – and as she continued to rant and rave he ignored her and strode past.